A couple with a perfectly affordable mortgage walked onto a live taping of The Ramsey Show (1) to settle a debate they’ve discussed for, by their own admission, hundreds of hours.
As hosts Dr. John Delony, Jade Warshaw and Ken Coleman listened, guests Cheryl and Clifton explained their conundrum:
“Cliff and I have been married for 2 years now. We created a very big blended family. Between the two of us, we have nine children. And we currently reside in the house that Cliff used to share with his ex-wife,” Cheryl told the panel.
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She went on to explain that they pay just $1,800 a month on the mortgage, and the house is about half paid off. Still, she insists that the house has “bad juju” and she wants to move.
Clifton, on the other hand, wants to wait at least two more years, until more of their kids are out of the house, so they can downsize to a smaller place. So what is the consensus?
A money issue?
The team quickly recognizes something that Clifton seems to be missing — it’s not just about the money.
“You’re bringing data to a feelings fight. And you’re going to lose,” Delony told Clifton.
For Cheryl, the motive to move and no longer be burdened with the “ghost” of an ex overrides the need for more square footage at an affordable price point.
At the same time, Clifton’s case is financially sound.
As of 2024, 43.5 million (2) American households spent more than 30% of their income on housing. Selling a home with such an affordable mortgage and buying something comparable could easily push them to that limit, while staying put is a safer option.
Ultimately, though, they can afford up to $3,000 a month and still stay within the threshold the Ramsey team recommends — keeping housing costs at or below 25% of take-home pay (3).
While the conversation was light-hearted and included plenty of laughter, all three hosts ruled in Cheryl’s favor.
But the real lesson here goes beyond this couple — it’s one a lot of partners navigating a big financial decision could stand to hear: When making life-altering decisions, it’s not that money doesn’t matter. But money isn’t the only thing that matters. Your spouse’s comfort and quality of life are important, too.
“My ruling is the current house is indeed haunted. And for that reason, I’m out,” Warshaw concluded.
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Making financial decisions together
Cheryl and Clifton’s situation is one example of the types of decisions couples have to make that aren’t solely financial.
Other examples might include when or where to retire, how many kids to have and whether to buy a new car or keep using an older car when you can afford a new one. Here’s how to make these types of decisions together.
Separate emotions from finances
Cheryl’s discomfort living in her husband’s ex’s home isn’t irrational. Neither is Clifton’s desire to ensure their retirement is on track. Treating either concern as invalid shuts down the conversation. Make sure both sides are willing to listen and consider the other point of view.
Run the real numbers on both scenarios
Staying in the current home means keeping an $1,800-a-month mortgage, keeping significant equity and having a clear path to being mortgage-free. Moving may mean a higher interest rate and likely a higher mortgage — but a fresh start emotionally. Even so, there are other numbers at play.
Make sure to factor in selling costs (typically 10% to 15% of the sale price (4)), closing costs on the new place, moving expenses and the actual cost of a comparable home in your market before assuming the math favors one choice over the other.
Use a neutral benchmark
When there is no right or wrong answer, it’s helpful to have a third-party benchmark. Ramsey’s 25% rule (3) — keeping your total housing payment (principal, interest, taxes, insurance, utilities and any HOA fees) at or below 25% of your monthly take-home pay — is just one example of a useful guardrail. For Cheryl and Clifton, both options cleared that bar, giving them more flexibility than they may have realized. If your numbers are tighter, that benchmark matters more.
Don’t let a great deal become a trap
A low mortgage rate or favorable balance feels like an asset, and it is. But if one partner is miserable, those savings come at a real cost. Cheryl had already been living in a house she hated for four years. Holding on to a financial win while your spouse counts down the days could impact your marriage — and that is worth considering.
The reality is, making financial decisions with a partner comes with some compromise. Looking at the bigger picture can help when either avenue could work. For example, if a decent retirement is still possible either way in this case, and if they can make a smaller house work even before their kids move out, emotional well being could be the priority here.
For Clifton, the hosts’ decision was unanimous: Sell the house. Or, as Ramsey often says, ”Suck it up, buttercup.” (1)
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Article Sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our ethics and guidelines.
YouTube (1); Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University (2); Ramsey Solutions (3); Redfin (4)
This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: The Ramsey Show says the house is ‘indeed haunted’ — but is it worth leaving a cheap home to escape an ex-wife’s ghost?
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
